I wonder what it would be like to have an "integrated personality", to be a "single-minded" person.

I was reading over my last entry and realized that nobody knows I visited a religious bookstore, let alone an Eastern Orthodox bookstore, on this past trip. The exception is my wife, and I probably wouldn't have told her except that I didn't want her to find out about my expenditures by looking at a credit card statement rather than hearing it from me. People have asked me about the trip; I give them a report on the restaurants I ate at. The most interesting thing I did, I keep to myself, because I don't want to be "scary".

I hide a lot of stuff from just about everybody. My light, if I have one, is decidedly under a bushel.

So why am I underground, psychologically and spiritually? Give Mrs. VoW credit: she's trying to get me to let her in. I'm not able to begin to do so without becoming snarky and harsh. I wonder if I've become one of those people who just can't stand that somebody else's beliefs might differ from theirs. Plus I don't know how to let her in:

VoW: "Hey honey, would you like to read the Bible with me?"
Mrs. VoW: "Mmmm, no, not really."
VoW: "Please? It might be interesting from a cultural or literary standpoint."
Mrs. VoW: "Are you reading it as literature?"
VoW: "No, more as the Word of God, really."
Mrs. VoW: "So you're hoping I'll see it as the Word of God, too?"
VoW: "Well... yeah!"
Mrs. VoW: "So you want to convert me?"
VoW: "Ummm... yes?"
Mrs. VoW: "So you don't respect my beliefs?"
VoW: "Sure I do! I just think that you're wrong on a few little points."
Mrs. VoW: "Like what?"
VoW: "Well... the divinity of Jesus. The definition of morality. The purpose of human life. Little stuff."

It invariably gets worse from here.